|Lyrics:||Ladies and gentleman of the class of '98|
people often ask me if I have any advice to
and when they do, I tell them this:
If you're unsure about what you're going
to do with your life
try to remember some of the most interesting people didn't know what
wanted to do at age 22 or even at 40, when nearly all of them are
drug addicts forced to live on cat food.
Also understand that friends will come and go - this
is because of your
irritating personality - nobody likes you. So if the only thing getting
through the day is the misconception that people like you - end it now.
how to smoke Winnie blues. If you're underage, get an older kid to
buy them for you. Get to
really know your parents - they're good for
Milk them, then put them in an old
peoples home. Travel as often as you
can. Live in New York City once. Live in northern
California once. Never
live in Adelaide - it's a hole.
Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you
Maybe you'll have children. Maybe you won't. If you do have children,
them under the stairs.
Do one thing each day that scares you. Sing. Dance.
Jump in front of a
Do not trust anyone that tries to update Shakespeare for the
you see Quindon Tarver in the street - punch him in the face for
Brother and sister, we can be free.
If you're worried about the way you
look, try to remember you're
fatter than you think. Maybe you should consider an
worry too much about the future. If you're nervous about an exam,
the school at the scheduled time and make a bomb threat. If you're a
lie about period pain just to get out of anything that you don't want to
Cheat if you think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with
richer parents is getting
Shoplift as often as you can. Shopping centres factor shop lifting
their prices so if you don't do it, it's like they're getting money for
you're on work experience, steal a cabcharge and take a taxi
Perth. Wear sunscreen,
but only if its that coconut oil that gives you
cancer. Keep your old love letters. If you see
an old lover in the
try to run them over in your car. Don't mess too much with
otherwise by the time you're 35, you'll look like Greg Matthews.
you can wear your underwear 4 times without washing: forwards,
inside out forwards, inside out backwards.
Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres. It's a
country. It's public space. Skateboard on war memorials. Smoke in your
uniform. Set off car alarms. Plant drugs on a teacher. Join a
Spike drinks. Don't
flush public toilets. Remember, only you will only
truly take care of you - so carry a
concealed weapon. Don't wear your P
plates. Walk around with your eyelids rolled back. Touch
you tongue on
tips of batteries. Be open to new love. Remember, you can't get
the first time you have sex. Expect others to support you. It's easy to
the dole - and still do cash in hand work. Respect your elders. When
grandmother dies have her stuffed. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss
when you're kneecapped by a loan shark. Get revenge. Don't forgive
for anything. But most of all, don't aim too high - You're probably
suited to an office or factory job.
And trust me on the Winnie blues